How I'm generally feeling

I  have lost count on how long it has been since I started feeling empowered......or maybe because it was so gradual that I didn't realize it was happening until I reach a certain benchmark in the entire process - the process of reclaiming myself. I can't pinpoint the actual time when things started to take a turn for the better (emotionally) but it was not long after I decided, "No more drama in my life" and "I've got nothing to lose anymore" that I started on this rebirth. 

I'm generally feeling empowered, confident, calm, assured, secure, certain of myself. I have a lot of times when I get to experience like, "I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be". I have a lot of epiphanies and coincidences. I seem to be learning at a pretty high speed that it looks like I'm fickle, when I've actually just discovered another higher, more complete point of view. 

Dreams and ideas which used to sound 'insane' in a negative way brings a new zing to the word 'insane ideas'. "Insanity" is now a good thing, a form of explosive creativity and enthusiasm that will not yield to fear and will not submit to defeat. 

It sounds almost crazy to not even bother thinking about failure and judgment from others anymore. But it feels like the sanest thing to do - to do something for the sake of doing it and believing in the cause of doing it and nothing else. Material gain and etc is an extension of that doing and the bonus of being able to carry out more things with the gains I've made. The gains are like points to score in a game - they do not bear significance to the actions or intentions by themselves nor the person that I am. They are merely a physical marker of ethereal and spiritual success. 

I wonder how many people ever get to experience this : to be enthusiastic about an opportunity to turn daydreams into its physical form and to not be held back at all by any sort of fear; fear of loss of money, loss of goodwill, loss of friendships, loss of 'face', loss of identity. Fearless......I've been described as that in different aspects of my life and I've not really thought about it. Have others managed to see me in ways I've never noticed about myself?

There are not even 'what-ifs' to worry about anymore. Just take it one day at a time, prepare for the best and just enjoy the experience towards it. 

There's a feeling in the pit of my stomach that this time, it's really going to work. And the degree of how fast it comes true correlates only to how awaken and efficient I have become in focussing and getting the results I want. How wonderful it is to have this feeling - the feeling that whatever my mind can conceive and believe, i will achieve. 

I thank God for this emancipation. I cannot wait to make this world a better place by the work I do, by the people I enrich and empower, emotionally, intellectually and financially. I cannot wait to have enough money to make money so I can focus on not-for-profit ventures too.